Hilarious Change.org petition of wealthy DC gentrifiers opposing new 7-11 goes viral

Like San Francisco and other coastal cities full of so-called highly-educated professionals, Washington, D.C. is experiencing profound socio-economic change, largely due to the forces of gentrification in once-affordable neighborhoods across the city. Washington now has the largest income inequality in the entire country.

So, it's probably not surprising that the same blog that today is tackling"What the… The Whole Foods coming to Shaw Near 9:30 Club isn’t a Done Deal Yet!?!", yesterday published a post about a local DC man -- presumably a homeowner in the building mentioned -- starting a Change.org petition against locating a new 7-11 convenience store in the bottom of a recently-opened condo development, predominately occupied by wealthy, white homeowners.

The building is located on Washington's 14th Street NW corridor, once gutted by riots after the assassination of Dr. King, and now the city's most up-and-coming neighborhood for lawyers and lobbyists with big bank accounts and money to burn on cheap, plastic apartments and condos.

(You can check out the condo building -- "the Solea" -- here.)

From the petition:

We are a community, we are a neighborhood, we are families and friends. We care about how our neighbors treat each other, how the streetscape is maintained and we care to improve our surroundings.  

We are happily satisfied with the neighborhood retail services today such as: Streets, Smucker Farms, Yes Organic, CVS and TraderJoes, yet we are very concerned about 7/11 entering our neighborhood. We believe that 7/11 will diminish and detract from our neighborhood, nor do we see it adding any value to our lives. We feel that, at best, 7/11 will just cannibalize existing businesses, assuming anyone was to patronize the establishment. Therefore, this location is not only unsatisfactory to the neighbors, but it is also a bad investment for 7/11. A bad investment for 7/11 is also a bad bet for the landlord jeopardizing their investment too. No one wins in this scenario.

If you care about the future of our neighborhood and don't want to see a 7/11, or worse, a failed 7/11 take up a prominent corner, then please object by endorsing this petition. [sic]

"Happily satisfied," eh?

The horror! A small general store in the bottom of your building offering everything from milk, bread and eggs to delicious Slurpees, particularly helpful for dealing with Washington's notoriously hot and humid weather.

I'll let a commenter on the petition from the United Kingdom problematize the petition for you:

You should be ashamed of yourselves. A bunch of wealthy (mostly white) people complaining about the poor (mostly black) folks that will follow a new store. You can call it "litter" or "loitering" all you want, but it is clear what you mean to say.

For those of you who say "they are just protecting their property interests, and there is nothing wrong with that," are missing a huge point. It is not like these complainers moved out into the suburbs, and are fighting a 7-11 moving into their perfect idyllic subdivision. They moved into a historically black and poorer neighborhood, built up a bunch of yuppie garbage, and now have the nerve to stake some claim to the neighborhood like it is theirs! It must be nice to have the money to move into a neighborhood, displace the poor residents, and then fight a convenience store because it doesn't jive with your idea of the neighborhood. People like you ruin cities, way to go.

And, yeah, judging by the other comments -- classist and employing racial codewords like "loiterers" -- that analysis seems spot on. (Names removed from comments.)

X WASHINGTON, DC about 2 hours ago    Liked 0
I'm sick of 7-11s. I have one on my corner and it's over priced, smells weird and attracts a ton of loiterers.

X VIENNA, VA about 3 hours ago    Liked 0
I live nearby and understand the distaste

X WASHINGTON, DC about 4 hours ago    Liked 0
Please no 7-11, we have one at 12th & U and another at 14th & Columbia Rd., so the area is well served. Owners of Solea so be worried that the value of their property will be affected by the addition of 7/11.

X WASHINGTON, DC about 4 hours ago    Liked 0
This is a very bad idea. Just look at the 7-11 up toward DCUSA at the corner of 14th and Columbia Rd....its a blight on our community.

X WASHINGTON, DC about 21 hours ago    Liked 0
I am a resident of 14w and want to make sure my neighborhood stays as attractive and safe as possible.

X WASHINGTON, DC about 21 hours ago    Liked 0
I've lived near a 7/11 (at 12th and U) - the trash, panhandling, and parking impacts are horrible for the neighborhood.

X WASHINGTON, DC about 22 hours ago    Liked 0
There is no need for a 7/11

X WASHINGTON, DC about 22 hours ago    Liked 0
7-11 is not the retail needed - in addition it brings crime and homelessness

X WASHINGTON, DC about 22 hours ago    Liked 0
We already have Fast Gourmet!

X WASHINGTON, DC about 22 hours ago    Liked 0
7/11 will change the character of the neighborhood for the worse. It is not needed given CVS, YES, and TraderJoes. The 7-11 in Columbia Heights generates a VAST amount of litter, gum, and cigarette butts on the sidewalk for a block in either direction and while that should be fixed in Columbia Heights, is very much not wanted. Thanks but no thanks.

Let me be clear -- surrounding this building, there are lots of folks who can't necessarily afford to spend every dollar at "Fast Gourmet," an upscale Latin sandwich shop. But, with gentrification, the social power of the wealthy pushes out the interests of the majority.

This silly petition -- and racist, classist opposition to a perfectly fine convenience store -- says a lot about the state of modern America -- and our horrific problems with inequality.

Cheers to selfishness and stupidity!